Travel and Leisure

Excerpt from “Sex, Cheese and French Fries—Women are Perfect, Men are from France,” a new novel on the challenges of cross-cultural relationships, using an American woman and French husband as premise. By Carine Fabius.

Travel & Leisure

It would not be exaggerating to say that the French consider leisure time to be a basic, inalienable human right. While Bonsoirno cares very much about the number of dollars we have in our pockets, making and keeping money is not his primary goal in life. He is always more concerned with our next vacation destination.

“But Pierre, we can’t afford to spend a month traveling through France, Spain, and Portugal. We need to finish remodeling the bathroom and kitchen.”

“Princesse, don’t worry, the money will come,” he says. And it usually does. Our friends want to know how we do it.

“What do you want?” he asks them. “A good life or a new bathroom?”

Someone, please tell me how to answer this question. 

It is the month of April, and Pierre informs me that he intends to take a couple of days off in the middle of the week to go hiking with his friend Jean-Jacques. Somebody has to be the voice of reason in this family, and I fear it is me.

            “Don’t you think you should be working instead on delivering that piece to your client so we can pay our taxes with that check?”

“It’s spring!” he says.

# # #

One of our biggest fights on this subject happens while we are on a three-week trip in Morocco. As the time gets closer to going home, Pierre starts making noises about extending our trip. I ask him if he is crazy.

“Why? We are not going to see Fez if we leave now.”

“Because we’ve been gone three weeks! It’s time to go home,” I

say with finality backed by the sanity I have been blessed with.

“Why?” he says again. He wants reasons, always reasons. It’s got to be logical for him. It’s all that damned education they get,          which teaches them that intellect and logic always win the day.  Pierre loves to remind people that “he is a Cartesian,” even though that statement usually draws blank stares. René Descartes’ philosophy of “I think, therefore I am” (or in Bonsoirno’s case: I sink, therefore I am) is a French person’s version of “Too funky for myself!” as uttered with great panache by the actor Eddie Griffin in the movie Undercover Brother.

“Three weeks is a long time!” I say with exasperation.

“Three weeks is nothing. The average secretary in France has five weeks’ paid vacation,” he says in a way that is meant to remind me of the unenlightened American work ethic.

“Yes, and it is your moral right to go on strike against whomever and whenever, and bring the nation to a halt just because you feel you deserve even more free time.”

“That’s right,” he snickers. He knows that I know that the French also take advantage of their additional two weeks’ paid sick leave, not to mention the almost criminal unemployment benefits abuses. I guess I’m feeling righteous, even though I know it’s stupid. Pierre is one of the hardest-working people I know. We both work hard. We deserve leisure time, and if not for him we’d probably be taking two weeks off a year like everyone else in this country. Still, it seems like extending this already lengthy trip will make me feel like a stuffed pig shoveling more food in my mouth as the buttons go flying off my jeans. See how guilt works?

“Your brain has been bleached!” he says.

“You’re probably right,” I say, “but we’re still going home in two days. Think how much it will cost just to change our tickets. We don’t even know how the mortgage is getting paid next month. The slow season is just around the corner and we’re spending money here like we’re Richie Rich’s parents!”

“Richie Rich?”

“Never mind.”

“You are focusing on money again,” he says.

“Yes, I know that’s a crime against the French State.” CEOs in France often opt to stay small rather than expand their companies because they fear it will cut into their leisure time.

“We like making money just as much as anyone else,” Pierre says, “it’s just that, in Europe, we are more obsessed with quality of life than with profits.”

Profits must feel like neglected children in France.

This time I win, and we leave as scheduled; but I know I am going to have to put on my boxing gloves when the Christmas holidays roll around. Costa Rica for a month is on his short list of vacation destinations. Even as we were planning the Morocco trip, the campaign for the next vacation had already begun.

“…And what do you think of staying in George’s house on the beach in Manuel Antonio in December?”

“ Pierre, we desperately need a new dishwasher. Every glass that comes out of there has to be re-washed. I want to get a really good one, and they’re expensive!”

“So?”

 “So, if we’re going to Morocco now, I’m going to Sears in December….”