Time to Get Over It

I am now taking a deep breath before I say it…….It is time to get over this stuff about France. There! I said it and I’m glad. Not that I say it lightly, you understand. Not that I am not still angry and, well, sort of miffed, as well as a little bit mystified. But still, it is time for BOTH sides to get over it. I offer this opinion as a conservative, a Republican, and a supporter of the Iraq war. (I mention these facts only to demonstrate where I am coming from.) I do not have any business interests in France, so I have nothing to gain financially from improved relations. I am not married to a Frenchman. And when I go to France, as I tell everyone back home, “I pretend to speak French and the French pretend to understand me.” America has a long history of fighting a country on Day One and then sending aid to that same country on Day Two when the conflict has ended. Although foreigners may not understand our attitude, I believe I know why we are reluctant to extend the same generosity to France. France is supposed to like us, to support us, to be on our side. We deal more easily with overt opponents than with friends we believe have turned on us. Nonetheless, it is time to get over it. Perhaps it would help if we could think of France in terms of the French people instead of the French government. After all, isn’t that what we tried to do with the late unlamented Soviet Union? Contrary to what you may have heard, the French people actually like Americans and are very enthusiastic about Americans visiting their country. I know you may think this is because tourists arrive carrying money, and that is indeed part of the equation. But mostly, if you behave well, the French will behave well right back, and you will have a wonderful experience. Let me illustrate, if I may.   Riding in a crowded Metro car, jostled back and forth, I accidentally stuck my finger into the eye of a woman standing next to me. While she stood there bleeding, I stood there aghast at my clumsiness. I hastened to apologize and quickly handed her a tissue. Of course she was not thrilled by this development, but she took the tissue and dabbed at her eye while I repeated how sorry I was. Somehow, in the stress of the moment, I blurted out that I hoped she would not think all Americans were this clumsy and dislike us. She gave me a long look, and then said, no, of course not, that she really liked Americans, and she hoped I would not be too upset because of this. I couldn’t help but think that the outcome might have been different on, say, the subway in New York. On the train platform in Paris, waiting for a delayed train to Avignon, I struck up a conversation with an elderly woman who was waiting for the same train. I explored the idea that the French really do not like Americans. She insisted that this was not so, that ordinary French people appreciate all the help given to France by America, and that many young people hope to spend some time in America. She explained how her son-in-law worked in America and “just loved it.” She was astonished when I told her that many Americans think the French will be rude to American tourists. Like me, she believed that differing cultural customs might be responsible for that impression, but she emphasized that the French really do like Americans. On my visits, I have had many demonstrations of help, interest, and generosity from ordinary people in France. They have stopped on the street to give me directions, they have used their cell phone to call for help for me, and they have given me unsolicited help in museums when they thought I would not be able to walk through exhibits. In short, they are just ordinary people who speak a different language. Yes, there are different customs in France and it helps if you are familiar with the lay of the land in this regard. But even if you make a “mistake,” your sincerity and warmth will be reflected back by those around you. And, of course, so will your hostility. Are we never again to drink French wine? Are we to give up Camembert forever? Never see the Eiffel Tower lit gloriously at night? Forego peering at the Mona Lisa? Resist boat rides on the Seine? Forget stretching ourselves by at least trying to speak French? Never taste a still-warm croissant in the morning? Are we going to become so wrapped up in patriotism that we refuse to associate with anything that is not 100% “American”? Our world will surely shrink if we do so. And then that will be our loss, not theirs. Yes, it is time to get over it.