Celebrating Christmas and New Year in the Country of Napoleon, Champagne, and Fromage

Paris in December is cold, but absolutely fabulous. The city is filled with tourists who are looking for extreme romantic lights of Paris when the temperature is below zero and the Parisians are consumed with the thoughts on end-of-year taxes and shopping for Christmas presents,, meaning no foire gras with crispy toasts, no oysters sprinkled with lemon-vinegar juice and no Bordeaux wine for a while. Or that’s how an economy-conscious American would think, but not a French one.

December comes with expenses, but a French gourmet lover would still rather spend the last Euro on a bowl of onion soup than on dry cleaning. The winter days are shorter, and France is not an exclusion to the rule of nature; the air is crisper and the Champs de Elysées (Elysian fields) lights up right after the last lunch call at 5 p.m. Nevertheless, still, only one place is open for shopping past 6 p.m. – it is the touristy Champs de Elysees, all thanks to the hungry for souvenirs tourists from Japan, Italy, Spain, Russia and America.

What makes the winter in Paris even more special besides all the holiday lights and hot-air-cooking fumes over cozy brasseries is the Southern France’s delicacy – the chestnuts that come in all cooked styles – as street roasted, as deeply-boiled-in-syrup sweet delights, as sautéed and served with a leg of duck on Christmas eve and as pureed sweet chestnut feeling for a crepe (the French crepe did originate in Brittany and a 3-Euro price for an authentic sweet delight – a thin crepe filled with the marron puree (crème de marron or chestnut sweet puree) – is a true heavenly treat.

Same goes for the very “winter” treat, which for French is duck. Almost all self-respected French restaurants serve duck for lunch and dinner during the winter holidays – or it is served as a smoked thinly-sliced delight on a bed of crisp greens for a cold appetizer. Duck is cooked till the meat comes easily off the bones and is most likely to be served with mashed or sautéed potatoes or famous (real) French fries.

Do let yourself loose with the holiday cuisine, substitute wine with cold alcoholic cider (very Southern-French) and beef meat for kangaroo meat, a chicken thigh for legs of frogs, cold cheese (*fromage) cuts for a Normandy cheese fondue, and a regular omelet for a Brittany’s buckwheat crepe topped with foie gras

(or the liver of a duck or a goose) and with an onion syrup.

If you are looking for ideal French scenery, come around the bakeries in a village or in suburbs of Paris on either a Saturday or a Sunday morning. Not a weekend goes by without freshly baked croissants and bagets. No global news discussed at a bakery but more likely you will hear talks about a 5-percent raise in metro fares, a local café switching to a later dinner time or about another student strike in Paris. Forget your country’s news; it is all about France – “when in France, think of France as the only country on Earth”. Mr. Zinedine Zidane (Zizou), the star of French football – is their God. So is Serge Gainsbourg and now his much-adored-by-French daughter from his marriage to Jane Birkin (the actress, whom the Birkin bag was named after) – the young and talented actress and musician, Charlotte Gainsbourg!

A dinner without a desert is a waste of an evening. And when at a crêperie, a “sour” crepe for the main dish (as French call a crepe that is not sweet) is always ordered with a sweet crepe as a desert to follow.

If you ever go to Paris, do not buy a tour with a dinner – you can always find a restaurant to your best tastes and desires without a “commercially planned not-so-authentic” dinner! It’s a trick to drive customers to the least successful restaurant in the area; if a restaurant stands well on its own, at any day and hour it will be busy with both locals and tourists.

Favor and don’t be afraid to wonder in some unknown neighborhoods, you would be pleasantly surprised to stumble over a very authentic inexpensive restaurant. Even a simple looking onion soup (soupe a` l’onion) is made differently all around France, if the broth tastes the same all around, it is the toasted bread pieces and the kind of cheese melted on top of it all – that’s what makes it different. (For the soup recipe, click here.)But as long as you do understand what you order, you are safe, because even one ingredient you do not know can make a dish quite an experience. Be on a look for gizzards (cooked entrails of poultry.)

Again, the time that French dread the most is Christmas shopping time and the reason is one – no parking available at almost any malls. French come to the malls before the doors are open to secure any available parking lot. Sundays are off for all businesses; the only places that are open in Paris are the touristy ones – like the Champs de Elysees. Thanks to the tourists, French can buy their milk and stamps on the Champs de Elysees.

Don’t be surprised if an Arab selling roasted chestnuts on the street of Paris speaks perfect Russian and/or English and/or Spanish to you. Just make sure you understand the difference between “deux” and “trois” (“2” and “3” Euro.)

If you crave some of your national foods and drinks and can’t go by without your regular Venti Caffe Latte, Starbucks has invaded Paris as well. It’s not yet all over the city, but it does have some stores in and around the Louvre, as well as you might stumble over it in other busy districts of the city. If you are expecting to get same kind of drink order as you used to do at your local Starbucks store in USA, do not try to order Chai Tea Latte, Venti, with soy milk, no water, extra hot in French, because it won’t have same cup sizes, neither they would understand what means “extra hot” or “extra milk” or “skim milk”. Just play by “rules” and order something simple, like an espresso or cappuccino. It is refreshing to see American fellows crowding Starbucks cafes and munching on so-dearly-missed chocolate chip cookies and crumb cakes.

The first time you get a hold of the metro map, you might look puzzled and lost, but don’t be. The metro system can be easy comprehensible as long as you know the end stations of each of the 14 lines! And, the doors of metro trains are opened manually, not automatically, so get that hook working as the train stops on your station.

When getting around, remember – Parisians don’t speak of districts in names, they speak in “arrondissments,” which go by a number – arrondissment 1, arrondissment 2…arrondissment 13, and so on. You are a true Parisian if you can say “J’habite le 6-ieme arrondissment” – “I live in the 6th arrondissment.”

At a French restaurant – Célébrez la cuisine française ravissante!

Never assume you really, really understand the menu. It might look like chicken bits in your le salade, but actually it is the “intimate parts” of a rooster. Yum!

Even if you try to speak French to French, they switch to English instantly, not for the sake to practice their English with you, but more as to give you a hint – “Don’t even try to speak our language, you comprehend it not.” And that’s ok, because it still more convenient for all the non-French speakers to understand a French with bad English rather than speak bad non-comprehensive French to a French.

When confronted by a very French waiter in a restaurant in France, many people have no idea where to start the conversation and how to interpret the menu. Just a few tips from someone who has been in the shoes of an only non-French persona dining elbow-to-elbow with smoking French at a French busy bistro (bistrot) and/or at a family-owned brasserie with a menu handwritten in old-fashioned French.

The following instructions will help you avoid ordering crème brûlée as an appetizer or a goat cheese salad with the rooster’s testicles for dessert.

• Action 1: Expect to see a lunch menu from about noon to 3:00 p.m., and a dinner menu from about 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Many restaurants close between lunch and dinner. French do not snack. You won’t see French sitting on the stairs of the office buildings, or standing at a bus stop or going into a metro station chewing on a bagel, or on potato chips, or sipping a soft drink!

• Action 2: Find out if the restaurant features a "plat du jour," or daily special. If the soup du jour is your choice of the soup. If the fixed price does include a glass of wine and a desert. Otherwise, the price would ring up to the same deal as if ordering from a regular menu list. The most likely side dish – French fries and/or home fries and/or mashed potatoes. Just remember, they do not call fries – French fries, they are just – fries!

Extra tip: Menu is not the same thing as it is in English: le menu in French means a fixed-price meal. For the menu list of all available dishes, look for and/or ask for la carte.

• Action 3: Start with an "entrée" if you prefer to order a full meal from the menu. This doesn’t mean the same thing as it does in English; it means "appetizer" in French. The main dish is one of the "plats principaux," or main dishes.

Extra tip: All you need to learn are the words for “meat”- la viande, “fish” – le poisson, or vegetarian – “végétarien”! And if you are looking for very French cuisine, depending on a season, look for:

Les escargots – snails (Delicious, I must add!)

But with any side dish – you would not regret the saucy rich duck meat!)

Le grenouilles – legs of frogs (don’t judge before you try – if you can overlook the look of the cooked frogs’ legs on your plate, it does taste like tender chicken! But the feeling of guilt can be hard to overcome and disgust!)

• Action 4: If you prefer veggies to potatoes, make sure you mention that to the waiter and ask him/her specifically for the "légumes" (veggies.)

• Action 5: Always reward yourself with dessert. France is the country of desert! Just think of all the pastries that Marie Antoinette has indulged with and what about her famous line “Let Them Eat the Cake…” Chocolate mousse, Opéra cake, Éclair and Crème Brûlée is a must!

• Action 6: Don’t overlook the power of "fromage" (cheese), ranked from stinky to VERY stinky (Vieux Boulogne*), from white to very blue, from soft to very hard and salty.

*Vieux Boulogne, a soft, yet firm French cheese made from cow’s milk and matured by washing with beer is the world’s smelliest cheese (or as my French teacher at the Paris Alliance Française school of languages used to say say about this kind of cheese – “qui pue, qui tue”, “which smells, which kills.”)

• Action 7: Before paying, check to see if the menu says "service compris," or service included. Always check if a 15% tip is already included in your bill and if not, leave a generous tip – that will make a waiter very, very happy.

Bonne Appétit!

Some tip for the New Year that not many of us know: Do not assume that New Year’s endless intake of champagne would substitute the “fattening” foods of the New Year’s feast. Champagne has the same amount of the calories as does red wine! (To learn more about Champagne region of France, go here.)

Uncensored Traveler’s Winter Shopping List from France

There are, of course, more to France that one would want to bring. Me, personally, every time I go to France, I stock up on things from black and white photos of burlesque dancers to truffles – and I can’t avoid the flea markets of Paris, which have the things that one could only see on Bridgitte Bardot at Cannes Film Festival to Catherine Deneuve in "Belle de jour" – timeless and unique pieces of clothing and accessories.

However, there are a few things that are absolutely a must-have and must-bring from Paris:

• Caramel liquor from Normandy

• Fromage from Boulogne

• A set of chocolate and coffee éclairs from a Paris bakery café

• Nespresso machine (just ask George Clooney about it!)

• And of course it wouldn’t be a true "French" experience, if you didn’t get a corset!

If you decided to go to France for the upcoming holidays, you might be looking for a perfect travel guide by now. The best guide to Paris is not Michelin, it is not Lonely Planet, it is not Eyewitness and it is not even Fodor’s. It is The Little Black Book of Paris: Essential Guide to the City of Lights (Little Black Book Series) by Vesna Neskow and Kerren Barbas – small, detailed,and inexpensive can be bought atAmazon.com.

And most importantly – this little black book has been tried and tested with much success. And the book won’t let you overlook cafes and bistros that are very authentically French.